So here I am again, now with two blogs–Consequential Strangers and MotherU–each representing a totally different part of my life.   I’ll funnel some ideas into in one blog, some in the other, and with others, such this one, I’ll be “bipostal,” contributing to both sites.   I’ll express my thoughts and hope that they resonate somewhere in the Universe, share my expertise and hope that it helps.  But I’ve let go of the expectation.

I’m not the only bi-postal blogger out there, according to some recent stats on blogging.  Approximately half of us are working on at least our second blog, and 68% have been blogging for two years or more.  To paraphrase Oscar Wilde’s famous quote about second marriages, “Second blogs are the triumph of hope over experience.”

This blog, Consequential Strangers, grew out of three years of writing and research on the book of the same name.  It features real-life examples from the news and further explanation of concepts in the book, as well as my own ruminations on various aspects of one’s larger social life.  It satisfies my sociological/psychological self. I’ve focused on relationships for decades now, written about all sorts–parent and child, couples, siblings, extended family.  But this book took me beyond connections involving intimates.  The blog enabled me–for the first time in my writing career–to continue to explore a subject even after the book came out, something a traditional book doesn’t allow.  Admittedly, it was also a marketing tool–what book today is not launched withouth a blog?  But I’ve since realized that while a blog may pique readers’ interest, it doesn’t necessarily lead them to a book store.   So Consequential Strangers has become a place where I throw out ideas about relationships. I hope someone is listening.

My more recent blog, MotherU, is the resurrection of a website my daughter created nearly seven years ago.  For nearly a year I’d toyed with the idea of doing it. Then suddenly I had to get it up there, reincarnated as a blog, and it almost felt like it was the site’s idea, not mine.  Its focus is the mother/daughter relationship when the mother becomes a grandmother and the daughter a mother and both are members of the “motherhood union.”  Only a week old at this writing, MotherU represents a fundamental piece of who I am — the mother of a grown daughter and, to my amazement, a grandmother (not a term I accepted gracefully!).  I have always found stories and theories about mother/daughter relationships particularly interesting–the inspiration for 1001 posts.  But also, I believe there is a need for this conversation between mothers and their adult daughters.  So I plan to throw out some ideas, and we’ll see what happens….

Two blogs, two audiences, no expectations.  With an estimated 133 billion people writing blogs, and “only” 346 billion readers to go around, how can anyone have expectations?  I guess I will base my “success” on the criterion that 70% of bloggers use: my own personal satisfaction.  Believe me about that, because I’m also among the 75% that describe themselves as “sincere,” not the 16% who describe themselves as “snarky”!

Why CS are now more important than ever. We’ve always had them, but today the world is too complex, our lives too busy, to depend on intimates alone.   CS impact health, success, and our sense of who we are.

Where we find them. New York is filled with “being spaces,” some of which I’ve written about on this blog: “dog runs and other mini-communities,  the High Line park, an everyday bus route. Cafes, laudromats, OTB parlors, the new Times Square promenade, Brant Park–they’re all places where strangers can become consequential strangers.

How casual relationships develop (and sometimes deepen) – the role of gossip. CS meet each other on common ground–based on interests, local, or need.   Casual conversation, gossip, and mutual self-disclosure can move us along the continuum from strangers to soul mates.  What are some of the markers? Check out the  “Friend or Consequential Stranger?” test.

The future of CS relationships–on and off line, in our homes, schools, workplaces, and communities. In the last ten years, the Internet has grown and with it our consciousness, our connections, and our ability to collaborate.  In the first decade of the 21st century, we’ve already witnessed dramatic changes in the way we “do” relationships.

No one is too young or too old to understand the power of casual connections.  Here’s one of my favorite consequential strangers, Zelda, age 98: