Increasingly and throughout the world, we have begun to coalesce around the notion that we have to make some big changes.  Sustainability is driving us to rethink the way we use our resources, build our communities, and run our businesses. It is making us question our habits of consumption and connection, forcing us, gradually or abruptly, to face three powerful new social realities:

• I can’t do it alone or just with my loved ones.

• I can’t act as if I am the only one who counts.

• I have to extend my social reach beyond what is familiar and comfortable.

New urbanists will design model cities.  Socially conscious businesses will develop ways to conserve energy.   Slow food advocates will highlight the importance of buying local.  Laws will be passed to reduce our carbon footprint. But sustainability will not be achieved by fiat.  It will hinge on connection.  And it will succeed, as past movements have, on the collective energies of consequential strangers who come together with a shared purpose.

The good news is that the relationship piece of sustainability requires no organization, no administration–only a mindset.  To paraphrase Dr. King, I have a dream that all people of the world will someday see themselves as part of a Consequential Stranger Corps.

It’s a simple idea:   Scan your social landscape for a consequential stranger who needs a little help or cheering up, someone who could learn something from you.  Your gesture can be planned or spontaneous, happen in a moment or involve a longer-term commitment, take place in your neighborhood or, thanks to technology, half-way across the world.   You can help a peer or–even better–someone much younger or older.  Share a new way of doing or thinking about something, make an extra meal, take a few minutes to listen, give an unexpected compliment or invitation.

I can’t help but believe that the more we value, and connect with, the everyday people we encounter, the more likely we are to insure our “long term maintenance of well being.”   Indeed, if you look anywhere today, where positive change is happening, where dialogues are yielding new practices, and where people are being cared for and cared about, you’ll find clusters of consequential strangers, reaching out across traditional divides.

Our extended selves are continually affected by consequential strangers.  In the course of any given day, each encounter leaves us with impressions–images and ideas that in turn color our perception and influence our behavior.  We then bring that newly informed self into our next encounter, where we exchange more impressions.

The volunteers’ sense of self was forever changed as a result of their participation in Freedom Summer, and many other paradigm shifts in history have been driven by the same dynamics.  As sociologist Doug McAdam told me, “a movement can’t spread without the influence of weak, bridging ties.”  Translation:  Consequential strangers can take us beyond our comfort zone.

For a more current example, consider the NFL players’ participation in Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which began on October 1.  The macho men of the gridiron deck themselves out in–what?  Hot pink.  Talk about a paradigm shift.  But there’s a reason they can go beyond their individual selves.  Read why in my Psychology Today blog, “Will Pink Cleats Help NFL Players Win the Game?“