So here I am again, now with two blogs–Consequential Strangers and MotherU–each representing a totally different part of my life.   I’ll funnel some ideas into in one blog, some in the other, and with others, such this one, I’ll be “bipostal,” contributing to both sites.   I’ll express my thoughts and hope that they resonate somewhere in the Universe, share my expertise and hope that it helps.  But I’ve let go of the expectation.

I’m not the only bi-postal blogger out there, according to some recent stats on blogging.  Approximately half of us are working on at least our second blog, and 68% have been blogging for two years or more.  To paraphrase Oscar Wilde’s famous quote about second marriages, “Second blogs are the triumph of hope over experience.”

This blog, Consequential Strangers, grew out of three years of writing and research on the book of the same name.  It features real-life examples from the news and further explanation of concepts in the book, as well as my own ruminations on various aspects of one’s larger social life.  It satisfies my sociological/psychological self. I’ve focused on relationships for decades now, written about all sorts–parent and child, couples, siblings, extended family.  But this book took me beyond connections involving intimates.  The blog enabled me–for the first time in my writing career–to continue to explore a subject even after the book came out, something a traditional book doesn’t allow.  Admittedly, it was also a marketing tool–what book today is not launched withouth a blog?  But I’ve since realized that while a blog may pique readers’ interest, it doesn’t necessarily lead them to a book store.   So Consequential Strangers has become a place where I throw out ideas about relationships. I hope someone is listening.

My more recent blog, MotherU, is the resurrection of a website my daughter created nearly seven years ago.  For nearly a year I’d toyed with the idea of doing it. Then suddenly I had to get it up there, reincarnated as a blog, and it almost felt like it was the site’s idea, not mine.  Its focus is the mother/daughter relationship when the mother becomes a grandmother and the daughter a mother and both are members of the “motherhood union.”  Only a week old at this writing, MotherU represents a fundamental piece of who I am — the mother of a grown daughter and, to my amazement, a grandmother (not a term I accepted gracefully!).  I have always found stories and theories about mother/daughter relationships particularly interesting–the inspiration for 1001 posts.  But also, I believe there is a need for this conversation between mothers and their adult daughters.  So I plan to throw out some ideas, and we’ll see what happens….

Two blogs, two audiences, no expectations.  With an estimated 133 billion people writing blogs, and “only” 346 billion readers to go around, how can anyone have expectations?  I guess I will base my “success” on the criterion that 70% of bloggers use: my own personal satisfaction.  Believe me about that, because I’m also among the 75% that describe themselves as “sincere,” not the 16% who describe themselves as “snarky”!

I thought I was a Real Estate Broker, but the last few years it’s been all about desk top publishing/marketing and advertising via social networking. Makes “hauling & hoping” not look so bad after all!

So now what?  In the piece I admitted, for all the world to hear, that I felt as if I was no longer a writer, but a publicist–to which a former editor, after telling me that she enjoyed the piece, added these two sentences:

I love that you’re becoming a writer again.  I was starting to run from Melinda the Publicist

I’m not surprised.  I was getting hints of that from friends.   I wanted people to see what I had seen in the research, to appreciate the power of their own social convoys.  Clearly,  I had overdone it!

So now that I’ve metaphorically raised my hand to announce, “I’m Melinda and social media has made my life unmanageable,” what does “recovery” look like? Where does my admission leave me–and this blog?  Here’s what I learned and what I plan to do:

Right-size. I’m not going to abandon all social media, but I will put it in perspective.  When I’m on line, I chat, answer emails, research, read emails, play Lexulous on Facebook–much of it is social time.  I’m soaking up information or  exchanging ideas.   Just as I’d schedule a trip to the library, or an appointment with a colleague–and wouldn’t spend five hours in either place–I will plan and allocate my Internet time as well.

Balance. It’s not all bad.  I have connected with tens (that’s not a typo!) of new people through Facebook, Twitter and this blog–people whose ideas resonate with my own, people I wouldn’t have otherwise met.  They are younger or older, they live all over the world, and I love the exchange of ideas.  One of my new social media buddies captured this–in 480 characters:

I just read your article. I agree that we can easily fall into the “hype” and lose track of other things. But, without that hype I may not…have found Consequential Strangers. That “hype” has allowed me to appreciate the people in my life who I didn’t realize mattered. I have…also met tons of other people who have changed my thoughts. So, thank you for the Hype! I look forward to more in 2010.

Broaden. This is what you can expect in 2010. I will continue to tweet, write, and comment, here and on other blogs, but I won’t just write about consequential strangers.  (That said, almost every discussion involves social connections!)   But I needn’t limit myself.   Right now, in fact, I’m mulling over a post entitled, “Sixty-five Is the New Black.”   (Don’t ask. I won’t tell.)