Maybe all those glares and guerilla tactics are paying off, or perhaps  most of us have learned to use our inside voices after a solid decade of cell phone use.  Eventually, an etiquette had to develop around mobile phone, just as it has about other types of communication.  To wit, the Emily Post Institute now offers advice on cell phone manners.  But recent research shows another hopeful sign:  the ascendence of text over talk.  Long the case in Europe and Asia, especially among the under-24 crowd, the trend is now evident in North America as well, says sociologist Barry Wellman, drawing from a proprietary Canadian study that portends a “shift from voice to text.”   Likewise, figures released by CTIA, a communications industry group, and reported on November 8 in the New York Times, indicates that in the U.S., texting has increased by more than 80% from last June to this (2008-09).

But have we traded in one problem for another?  Look around you.  The guy who once annoyed you by jabbering into his cell phone, is now a different kind of nuisance:  Head down, walking at a good clip, he’s too busy checking his stocks, searching for a restaurant, or composing a text to notice you.  Our parents used to warn us to watch out for other drivers. Little did they know that once day we’d have to worry about other walkers!

Learn from people who’ve been there. It’s hard to believe but social network media dates back only a few years.  And before we had the software to allow us to be in touch with our convoys, there were internet communities and other precursors of what is now exploding on the Internet.  Here are some of the people/sites that have given me the best understanding of what it’s all about.  Start with Nancy White’s excellent blog, “How I Use Social Media.”  It’s one woman’s journey, but Nancy has been there from the beginning.   I’ve also found Pete Cashmore’s Mashable an invaluable resource for understanding what various social network sites are best for and how individuals and companies are using them.  Best of all, the site speaks to beginners as well as veterans of the net. I’d also suggest reading anything by Barry Wellman or Howard Rheingold.   They’ve both been looking at internet communities for decades; reading their papers and blogs is like getting a crash course in how we got here.  If you have any favorite people or sites, please include them in your comments.

Spend social currency not money. If you’re still uneasy about the new media, you might be tempted to hire one of the so-called experts out there–you’ll come across many of them.  Their blogs and tweets promise to teach you “how.”  And perhaps some of them can help, but it’s important to remember that no one knows “the best way” (or even the five best ways) to reach out to your people.  So why not begin by spending social energy rather than money? It might sound kind of old-school and not very flashy, but the best idea might be to just get out there yourself, find a slice of common ground, and connect–one consequential stranger a time.