The following review appeared in Relationship Research News (published by the International Association for Relationship Research), Fall 2009, Vol 8, No 1, pages 22-23.
Consequential Strangers: The Power of People Who Don’t Seem to Matter. . . But Really Do
Written by Melinda Blau and Karen Fingerman W. W. Norton & Company; 2009, 304 pp. Reviewed by Anita L. Vangelisti, Jesse H. Jones Centennial Professor of Communication, University of Texas at Austin
In Consequential Strangers, Melinda Blau and Karen Fingerman skillfully weave together social scientific research and vivid testimonies to demonstrate the importance of non-intimate relationships. Consequential strangers are people who “occupy the broad region between complete strangers on the far left and intimates – our strongest connections – on the far right” (p. 6). The authors note that these individuals are people we know, but who are not part of our “inner circle.” Perhaps because our relationships with consequential strangers are less intimate than the relationships we typically have with those who are part of our inner circle, we often overlook them. Blau and Fingerman argue that in a world that is becoming increasingly diverse, consequential strangers make essential contributions to our personal and professional well-being.
In Chapter 2, the authors take an “aerial view” of social relationships. They look at consequential strangers as a whole or, as termed by Antonucci, as a “convoy.” Our social networks – our convoys – change in size and composition over time and differ from person to person. In understanding our social networks, Blau and Fingerman suggest that we need to grapple with issues associated with the size, composition, and density of our convoys as well as the roles played by the people who make up our convoys.
After setting the ground work for looking at consequential strangers in the first two chapters, the authors use Chapters 3 and 4 to delve more deeply into some of the functions of non-intimate relationships. In Chapter 3, Blau and Fingerman argue that consequential strangers can expand the way we view ourselves and allow us access to experiences, information, and resources that we might not otherwise access. In Chapter 4, the authors use the vast literature on social support to illustrate the myriad of ways that weak ties strengthen our ability to manage our health and cope with our own and others‘ illness. Many of the points raised in these two chapters have been raised by researchers who study personal relationships, but Blau and Fingerman offer a very different perspective on this research by placing non-intimate relationships at the fore.
Chapter 5 focuses on the influence of physical contexts or “being spaces” on the formation and maintenance of non-intimate relationships. In examining these spaces, Blau and Fingerman not only describe concrete aspects of physical environments that affect relationships, they also point to the social interactions that take place within these environments and show how those interactions create space for relating. The social behavior of individuals and groups becomes particularly important when the authors note how contexts for relating are created virtually in online communities, dating sites, and support groups.
Journal of Gerontology, 42
References
Life-span development and behaviour
, (pp.253-286). New York: Academic Press
Most of us study close, personal relationships because we believe they matter. We believe that our ties to friends, family, and romantic partners influence our sense of well-being, our physical health, even our mental stability. While we acknowledge the importance of less close relationships – or weak ties – we focus the majority of our theorizing, research, and teaching on intimate relationships. Consequential Strangers
Consequential Strangers, Melinda Blau and Karen Fingerman skillfully weave together social scientific research and vivid testimonies to demonstrate the importance of non-intimate relationships. Consequential strangers are people who ―occupy the broad region between complete strangers on the far left and intimates – our strongest connections – on the far right‖ (p. 6). The authors note that these individuals are people we know, but who are not part of our ―inner circle.
Bowling Alone
Relationship Research News FALL 2009, VOL 8, NO. 1
23
Consequential Strangers, I thought I would get a lesson in the importance of weak ties to our physical, mental, and emotional health. I got that, but I also got much more. Consequential Strangers
Journal of Gerontology, 42
Life-span development and behaviour
, (pp.253-286). New York: Academic Press
References
Although the emphasis of this volume is on the positive functions of consequential strangers, in Chapter 6, Blau and Fingerman acknowledge that there is a ―downside‖ to non-intimate relationships. Whether relationships with consequential strangers are formed face-to-face or online, they can be plagued by gossip, power struggles, prejudice, and deceit. Indeed, some of the most rewarding qualities of non-intimate relationships (e.g., their ability to expose us to different information and experiences) can be threatening, uncomfortable, and even harmful.
Blau and Fingerman close the book with a forecast for the future of non-intimate relationships. The authors argue that weak ties will offer people important ways to stay connected in a fast-paced, ―wired‖ society. Consequential strangers will give us resources we need as individuals to navigate the various demands of our personal and professional lives. They also will provide us with a sense of community or belongingness that our more intimate relationships cannot give us.
After setting the ground work for looking at consequential strangers in the first two chapters, the authors use Chapters 3 and 4 to delve more deeply into some of the functions of non-intimate relationships. In Chapter 3, Blau and Fingerman argue that consequential strangers can expand the way we view ourselves and allow us access to experiences, information, and resources that we might not otherwise access. In Chapter 4, the authors use the vast literature on social support to illustrate the myriad of ways that weak ties strengthen our ability to manage our health and cope with our own and others‘ illness. Many of the points raised in these two chapters have been raised by researchers who study personal relationships, but Blau and Fingerman offer a very different perspective on this research by placing non-intimate relationships at the fore.
Reviewed by Anita L. Vangelisti
Jesse H. Jones Centennial Professor of Communication, University of Texas at Austin
Blau and Fingerman close the book with a forecast for the future of non-intimate relationships. The authors argue that weak ties will offer people important ways to stay connected in a fast-paced, “wired” society. Consequential strangers will give us resources we need as individuals to navigate the various demands of our personal and professional lives. They also will provide us with a sense of community or belongingness that our more intimate relationships cannot give us.
Consequential Strangers is written for well-educated laypeople. It would be a welcome addition to upper-level undergraduate courses on human relationships and would be an excellent resource for clinicians who are looking for ways to encourage their clients to expand their social networks and broaden their views of intimacy. Blau and Fingerman‘s careful use of research also makes the book a must for teachers and researchers who are looking for innovative applications for extant concepts and theories. When I first picked up Co