Just read a great post on mashable.com, “How to Deal with Social Networking Overload.” I thought it was very good advice, and added my own two cents in a comment, which naturally reflects my last three years of research and writing:
I think of sites in terms of their family/friend-to-CS ratio. CS are people outside your intimate circles–and they comprise the bulk of our daily encounters. Our intimates know what we know, whereas our CS take us “beyond the familiar.” In each of my social network sites, I have many, many more CS (even though the site calls them “friends”), and on Twitter, strangers as well. True, Facebook does has a good number of family, friends, rediscovered friends as well as consequential strangers from the past.
One of the suggestions in Alexandra Levitt’s how-to was “set boundaries”–reserve certain sites for family and real freinds, and others for business contacts–but, as I wrote in my comment…
…it’s too late for me! The best I can do is restrict my online social time, And that’s getting harder the more connections I make–even on the sites I regularly visit.
On Facebook I now have my “friends” (who are mostly CS, with a smattering of family and close friends thrown in–a mirror of my real life social scene), and I also check in on the CS group I started. I’ve been suggesting that people ask their friends and CS to join that group, and overnight we picked up more members. I like that, and it’s great to connect, but the more people I connect with, the harder it is to stay connected, but I’m determined to at least try.
On Twitter, for instance, whenever someone follows me, I contact them, asking, how did you find me and why are you following me? I don’t bother when the “person” seems more like a bot, or when the photo is an obvious come-on. (Come on, really–do men actually anyone with big breasts?) Many don’t bother answer, I think because everyone’s out there to rack up numbers. But I, perhaps naively, want to connect. But some do, and I’ve met some really interesting CS that way, who introduce me to now ideas or just say something wonderful about themselves that tugs at my heart. Keep ‘em comin’ I say–that’s what consequential strangers do for us.
I may eat those words, of course, because I’m already spending more time than I ever imagined tweeting, blogging, answering emails, looking at other people’s links, reading other people’s blogs. Only time, or my lack of it, will tell. Ergo, my new bumper sticker:
So many consequential strangers, so little time.
August 1st, 2009 at 8:23 am
I admire your determination and ability to stay connected. And use ofthe new technology.
August 27th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Hey Melinda, I did, in fact, start following you on Twitter, to which you responded with that very question: What brought you here? Answer: I read about your book at MediaBistro and your premise rang true for me. It’s almost always been the case that when I’ve gone after something or someone — a lover, a cause, a job — I’ve gotten the most information and help from people along the way, kind and sympathetic people I’ve “shared a moment” with but don’t expect to see again. It’s these connections, I think, as you do, that are more significant, because they haven’t been engineered, because they’ve been spontaneous, and therefore more connected to the general and timeless stream of human interaction.
September 24th, 2009 at 11:48 am
I read your articles, how do I move foward and form positive connections with other people……Currently I am on facebook Thanks…………….